I am in a WhatsApp group chat for the men music ministers in the church community I serve and fellowship in. Aside from the football memes and dad jokes that are shared alongside verses of inspiration, links to Twitter threads on subjects of various interest are also posted.

One that was shared recently was a tweet from Reuben Kigame, a presidential aspirant, who wrote:

On how to deal with controversial questions like LGBTQI+, abortion or divergent positions, I say that I will be president for all. My priority would be to ask, have they eaten, do they have medicines, do they have jobs? They are first human before anything else…

I felt a wave of emotions when I first read that tweet. I have always seen Mr. Kigame as a true example of what it means to love God fully and wholeheartedly, and it is reflected in how he loves people, and always is ready to share the good news of the Gospel whenever he can. In that single tweet, I felt the Christlike love in him shine forth like a beautiful beacon.

Looking deeper, I felt heard, acknowledged and included. Being same sex attracted is an experience unique in itself. That tweet made my heart sigh in gladness that not only me, but many others in the LGBTQ community would be seen as human.

In retrospect, I wished I had just left it at that, but I decided to glance at the reply thread.

On this.. you got it all wrong.. LGBTQ and team are not and will never be a part of Kenya… The fact that you are accepting this virtually means you can’t sign their ultimate protection in Kenya. It’s a no…

We don’t care nor want any conversation about LGBT crap! In Kenya we will never accept those abominations! Period!…

These and many more similar comments seemed to dim the spark of joy that had set a fire in my heart. In reading them, I began to feel excluded, like the leper in Biblical times who was seen as unclean and basically a step below vermin. Even though I didn’t know these people, I felt like they knew me, and before even getting to know me, hated me from the outright.

Many of my same sex attracted Christian friends felt the same way. In moments of conversation with one especially dear friend, he said, I wish I could be an activist for the LGBT community. I resonated with him; if we who are in the Christian community feel like outcasts, like greater sinners, what about those outside the church? I have read, heard and seen comments spoken about the LGBT in such poisonous ways from people who profess to be Christian that hurt me as a same sex attracted individual. I can only imagine what someone who isn’t a believer feels when they hear the same.

After pondering much on the issue, I thought to share my views and thoughts after much emotional calm and having tried to see it from as many perspectives as possible.

1. I agree with Reuben Kigame and back up his agenda to deal with the LGBT community first and foremost as human beings, with rights accorded to them as such. Why I said I see it as an act of love is that he realises that they too are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26-27). It can only take a deep knowledge of God’s grace and kindness to come to a position where one sees another as God’s creation, worthy of respect and love as themselves, and kind enough to lead them in paths of knowing God and coming into a relationship with Him. Mr. Kigame shows that not only in his music, but also in his speech and conduct and unwavering stand on what God proclaims to be true.

2. An underlying notion I have come to see over time is that many people, knowingly or unconsciously, tie same sex attraction to casual, random sex and homosexual hookup culture. One of the reasons I am yet to come out publicly about my own attractions to men is because the first thing on people’s minds will be, he is standing to minister infront of people yet he is a practicing homosexual. Even if I declare to be chaste and celibate, the thought at the back of people’s minds would be that I have to be actively sexual. Which makes me beg the question, is the totality of a person reduced to just their sexuality?

Eve Tushnet on Spiritual Friendships had this to say about the matter:

Basically, gay people are sometimes treated as if all our experiences are unusually sexually-charged, and all our relationships are either a) focused solely on chastity, or b) near occasions of sin.

Eve Tushnet, Spiritual Friendships

My friend Steve M shared on his Facebook wall sometime ago in response to some insensitive comments made about LGBT and how at least Christians ought to exercise when talking about the same. He said:

Our sexuality cuts deep into our emotions and identity, in it we fall in or out of love, in it we are accepted or rejected […] it’s not really just a practise or a behaviour, but it is so much intrinsic before it is extrinsic.

Steve M, Facebook.

It is so dehumanising to see a person reduced to nothing more than their sexuality. If I could have people learn one thing from this entire conversation, is that there is more to a person than just their sexuality, and we all are sexually sinful. There is no sexual sin that is greater than the other, and all are able to be forgiven by anyone who puts their trust in Jesus. The LGBT person needs Christ’s grace and love as much as the straight person does.

3. As I hinted at earlier, a lot of the social media profiles that posted some of the comments on the thread had the word ‘Christian’ on the user bio. I wonder, were the words they said a true reflection of what they believe in? None of us has done anything to deserve the grace we have been so lavishly accorded (Ephesians 2:8-9), yet we want to place a price tag on the free gift we have received when sharing it with others. What if we chose to be different in showing what true Christianity is; seeing each of us as people fallen from this grace and helping one another come to know God deeper and more fully? It is easy to see another person as more sinful, more filthy than we are, but it only takes a knowledge of our own fallenness to be able to acknowledge that we all need the same Saviour. Once we as Christians realise what it really means to be Christian, I believe the conversation around LGBT will take a kinder, more loving and understanding tone while still affirming to the truth of God’s word.

***

My concluding thoughts would be the words of Jesus in the gospel of John;

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 13:34-35, NIV

When we show love to one another as Christians, this will draw others to desire to know Christ more. How do we show love for each other in the body of believers, first and foremost?

Putting others needs before our own. Seeking the best spiritual interest of the rest. Going out of our way to make sure that everyone in the Christian community is at the most content they can be, physically and spiritually.

If we set an example in love among one another, it will manifest itself in everything we do, not only in the church community, but also to those who are of the world, including those in the LGBT spectrum. Jesus ate with people who were considered the scum of society; why should we not do the same? By this, I mean not to affirm that which is not Scriptural, but to come to a level of being able to show someone the truth with firm, loving kindness and gentleness.

In as much as the comments on the thread will still prick at my conscience from time to time, I will do all I can, by God’s continual grace, to be found abounding in love, and to pour out that love not only to those I share my faith with, but to everyone else within my circle, LGBT or not.

Your Spiritual FriendIn CHRIST. In COMMUNITY.