Written by my brother and friend who penned this (my story), you may want to check it out. Meanwhile, enjoy.

I write today, not to give my story but to actually give you a glimpse of what’s it’s like for me.

21 is approaching and quiet fast for that matter. I’m excited but am also worried. I don’t wanna wake up one day and find myself at the same place, fighting the same battles. I want to grow and outgrow my seasons.

As am writing this am trying to figure out how it would be.
21 I mean.

Most of you might actually laugh because that seems like something that shouldn’t be worrying me, I agree but not when you have
had to grow faster than all the other kids.

You know, not getting to play with them because you are so outrightly different; not physically but innately. You try and hang out with them, play their games and talk their language but you keep always being that weird kid who is clingy, fragile or just not as quick as them.

And so you grow. You figure things out for yourself without the boys to discover life with.

It doesn’t get easier, just to let you know. It’s not a story of hope. It’s a story of me being. And it’s not for you to feel sorry but for you to maybe empathize.

Because sometimes what I need is someone to listen to me, see me more or just show up and shut up! I need fellowship.

So twenty one is coming and all I see is the same struggle.
It’s like am in this time loop and certain ordeal events are being repeated, time and time again and am being asked to stand before a jury and a case is made against me. Am accused and condemned and then let go with this thorn deep in my flesh.

Trust me we always try to remove it or put some ointment to ease the pain that bit brings but it doesn’t feel better.

And so am penning this with a little hope that it’s gonna be fine. It’s not going to ache as it does most days. That the fellowship I have desired is going to be there.

Actually I have learnt to do one thing. Not to fight back anymore. To just dwell here. Right here and just look above and see Him. He isn’t offering a no luggage. Just a lighter one. He isn’t offering warmer nights, just a hope that dawn is neigh. And so I will look up like Stephen and forget all this stones that are hitting this mortal body. I’ll look through my foes and see this big battalion of angels by me. I chose to see him because he gives me comfort.

And I no longer desire that my struggle be removed. I seek that He won’t stop looking at me. That His gaze wouldn’t be turned away from my struggle and that His hand will continually lead me to that land of rich pastures.

For that’s my desire now.

21 hope you heed.